Resistance: Feel the Burn(out)

By Jamie Hulsman Williams, MSW, LSW, NBC-HWC, C-H

Car rides and showers are my rare moments for deep thinking - times when I can be alone, focused on a single task, and free from distractions. As a mom of two teens, these moments are precious. I often use my driving behavior as a barometer for my well-being: Am I listening to music, podcasts, audiobooks, or simply driving in silence? Lately, it’s been the latter.

Last weekend, on a 2.5-hour drive to visit my mom, I realized - about 1.5 hours in - that I had been driving in complete silence. My first reaction? What the hell, Jamie? BUT, I quickly followed up with a more mindful question: What’s going on?

Self-reflection is one of the most effective ways to gauge well-being. So much of our daily behavior runs on autopilot, unnoticed until we deliberately press pause and replay the moments. Mindfulness teaches us that our thoughts and emotions are merely information - not definitions of who we are. So, what was this silence trying to tell me?

The first surge of insight: Fatigue. My mind was screaming, I’m so tired!!! Everything feels like noise, and I just don’t want it around me. On a second pass, another word surfaced: Resistance. And that one hit deeper. But where was it coming from?

For me, the search for answers always starts within. Before turning to external factors or other people, I look inward - because that’s where the real insights live. What am I resisting?

Emotional resistance, whether conscious or subconscious, is a defense mechanism we use to avoid confronting difficult emotions or situations. It often manifests as denial, avoidance, repression, or rationalization - all of which require significant energy to maintain and ultimately derail us from our path to well-being. Nearly everyone experiences emotional resistance at some point, usually when we’re not ready to embrace change or when we’re trying to avoid emotions tied to past traumas. The good news? With practice in self-reflection and emotional regulation, we can move past it.

Now, I’m not claiming to be perfect, but this resistance fatigue didn’t seem to stem from my own denial, avoidance, or repression - at least, not that I could immediately identify. So, should I look closer? Or zoom out to see the bigger picture? Which perspective would serve me best at this moment?

Even though I may not be the source of the resistance, I still hold the responsibility for how I respond to it. Resistance, whether internal or external, doesn’t just disappear on its own - it lingers, creating stress, frustration, and exhaustion. Ignoring it won’t make it go away, but acknowledging it gives me the power to shift how I engage with it.

Resolution doesn’t always mean eliminating resistance; sometimes, it’s about learning to navigate it differently. It’s about deciding what’s worth my energy and what needs to be released. While I can’t control every challenge that comes my way, I can control how I process, set boundaries, and protect my well-being in the face of it.

In my case - like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, I picked Path B - I needed to zoom out for a broader view. And suddenly, it clicked: External resistance. Yes! Of course. A household with two teenage sons, a  loved-one frustrated with their workplace yet resistant to exploring a change, the pressures of building a business, overly broadcasted political turmoil, navigating the healthcare system, co-worker drama… even the lingering negativity from a favorite reality TV show. Every single one of these is a battle in itself and leads us to the important question...

What’s Mine to Hold, and What Needs to Go?

Once we identify the sources of resistance, the next step is critical: Investigation. What is truly mine to carry, and what do I need to release?

While we can’t always control the resistance that enters our lives, we can control how we process it and how we choose to show up. This is where self-awareness becomes our greatest tool. The strain we feel? It often stems from a lack of boundaries, ineffective communication, or neglecting our own needs. It’s time to take stock - evaluate what’s surrounding us and decide, with intention, how we want to engage with it.

For parents, one of the greatest (and most exhausting) battles is raising children to be kind, accountable, and resilient in a world that often models the opposite. That’s a fight worth every ounce of energy. But the drama from Love Is Blind? Maybe not. Unless they’re cutting me a paycheck, their chaos is not mine to hold or fix.

The kids? Maybe it’s time to stop skirting around topics and bring in a more direct communication style. The efficiency alone will save time and energy. And, they will know exactly what is expected of them. 

Some sources of resistance are obvious, but others are more nuanced. Take workplace challenges, for example. If you’re stuck with difficult colleagues and a job transition isn’t immediately possible, then -  what can you control? Emotional regulation, clear and effective communication, and shifting focus to the people and tasks that align with your goals. In these situations, resistance isn’t always something to eliminate—it’s something to navigate. 

So, the real question becomes:

Where do I need to set boundaries, shift my mindset, or just let it go?

Resistance is a natural part of life and an inevitable companion on the journey toward change. It isn’t a sign of failure or weakness - it’s a signal, a nudge from within that there’s deeper work to be done. It invites us to pause, reflect, and uncover what’s holding us back. Often, resistance arises when we’re on the brink of transformation, challenging us to confront discomfort and push beyond our limitations. Rather than seeing it as an obstacle, consider it an opportunity - a chance to gain clarity, deepen self-awareness, and carve a more intentional path forward.

Where do you do your best thinking?

But in order to truly process resistance, you need space and place to explore the emotions and insights that surface. Self-reflection doesn’t happen in the noise of daily distractions—it thrives in moments of quiet, in places where your mind feels free to wander, question, and discover. So, where do you do your best thinking? Is it during long drives, in the shower, on walks, or while journaling? Maybe it’s in nature, in the stillness of the morning, or through movement like running or yoga. Whatever that space is for you, prioritize making more time to be in it. This isn’t just about finding clarity—it’s about creating a routine that allows you to process, release, and move forward with greater ease.

If self-reflection feels difficult, know that you’re not alone. Skills like communication, resilience, and emotional awareness aren’t innate for everyone - they are learned, developed, and refined over time. The good news? They can be strengthened at any age and at any stage of life. With the right guidance and support, growth is always possible. Whether you’re struggling to navigate personal challenges, feeling stuck in patterns of resistance, or simply wanting to build a stronger sense of self, a skilled well-being coach can help you unlock the tools to move forward with confidence.

And if you’re looking for a deeper way to shift subconscious barriers, hypnosis can be a powerful tool to bring clarity, motivation, and lasting change. By quieting the conscious mind, hypnosis allows you to tap into the deeper layers of your thoughts and emotions, making it easier to overcome resistance and align with your goals. If you’re curious about how hypnosis can support you during these rocky times, let’s talk—I’d love to share how it can help you move forward with greater ease and confidence.